Oh, no, I'm a FEELER?!?

I give in.  Well, I'm thinking about giving in.  I think I'm a closet F (feeler).  Good friends have been challenging me on this for a couple of years, and I'm succumbing to the truth about how God made me.  I think.

See, I've lived my whole life with a very high T (thinker) for a father and a husband, so I've expected myself to be one as well.  It's the way I've functioned in my relationships with them and others.  Emotions?  I didn't think I really had them, and if they snuck in the picture, I quickly stuffed them down before they got in the way of the task at hand.

No more.  Well, let's just say I'm more open to the idea of being a F.  Open enough to read about the differences between ENFJ vs. ENTJ.

And, lo and behold, if I'm not really more of an ENFJ.  Brian is going to die when he reads the part about affirmation.  It's our on-going conversation du jour.

Feelers are just so MESSY.  I don't have time or energy to be messy.  But apparently 30+ years of not feeling is catching up with me, and the stuffing is going to backfire.  Is backfiring.  I'm a complete mess more often than I care to admit, whether I like it or not.  My secret hope is that feeling the feelings will get them out of the way so I can go on functioning like a T.  How realistic can that possibly be?

White Ink

Would it surprise you that I've been chewing on getting a tattoo?  It's been a thought for well over a year.  Maybe two?

I know it would be in white ink.  I'm pretty confident it would have to do with rest.  I have no idea where it would go.  And no clue how to get past the needle issue--as in I'm scared of them.

Hee, hee.  Makes me giggle to think about it.

Here and Now

A friend asked me just yesterday how I'm doing.  Really.

And, really, I'm good.  By the precious grace of God, I'm practicing resting in this life he's given me.  There are so many things going on in day-to-day life that I have every reason to feel overwhelmed, but right now I am able to have an objective view of it all and feel God's hand holding me steady as my people and circumstances try to rock my boat.

It certainly has not always been this way, and I know it will likely change again.  But for today, I am thankful for this very real, very secure perspective on where I am.

It all has to do with being tethered to God and not the people and circumstances he brings to me.  I'm able to enjoy those people and the circumstances more (even the difficult ones) as I see them as part of the story He wrote for me before time began.  As I own my adoption as a well-provided for, perfectly loved daughter of The King.  As I grieve and mourn when things aren't supposed to be this way but look past it to the hope that all things will be glorified and made perfect in the new earth.  As I learn to trust God for real.  I mean, really trust him, with all of my life.  As I pursue a deeper, more real relationship with him, the author and perfecter of my faith, which in turn tethers me more closely to him.

It's good stuff.  And I am thankful.

Promise Won!

Just thought I'd let you know that Promise Christian Academy won the Monsanto grant!  Thank you, friends, for voting.  It was back and forth till the very end, and your vote made a difference.

What a miracle that a school with 22 children could win such a contest.  They are all overwhelmed and so very grateful!