Fall 2013-dark leaves

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Here is Enough

Many of our friends are getting jobs and preparing to move on from St. Louis and seminary.  We still don't know where God is taking us.

It struck me this past weekend that if I were planning and preparing for whatever is next--looking at where to live, the schools in the area, what's fun to do there, how far it is from friends and family, not to mention cleaning out and packing the house--I'd be focused on the future.  I'd be so busy that I'd miss things here.

It would be nice to miss some things here in the present.  It's a big job to parent these kids, helping learning to relate well to each other--SF and C, SF and P, SF and L, C and P, C and L, P and L, me and SF, me and C, me and P, me and L, me and B, B and SF, B and C, B and P, B and L.  That's FIFTEEN relationships just in our immediate family.

But I'm seeing the blessing in not moving forward yet.  It's been a long four years of seminary, surviving monthly or weekly, often daily or momently.  Survival posture doesn't leave much room for living intentionally; it's mostly reactive.  Right now I'm thankful for some space to live intentionally, specifically focusing on parenting better.

I'm practicing resting in the not-knowing.  Not fighting so hard in my mind to figure it all out, scrapping for a plan and playing what-ifs all the time.  The here and now certainly has enough to keep my mind occupied.

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