Fall 2013-dark leaves

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Typical Saturday Start

7:20am:  Brian just walked in to a room full of snuggled up kids watching cartoons and asked them jokingly, "What are you doing in my den?"  Right away one of them said, "I'm farting.  I mean tooting.  I mean gassing."  "Yep, s/he is," said the child sitting in the recliner with her/him.  Seriously, people.

Happy Saturday, friends!  It's going to be a great day!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Running Regret and More

I should have gone running this morning when it was 6:30 and I had enough consciousness to intentionally roll over and try to go back to sleep.

I need to remember this feeling next time and not sleep in.  My anxiety is through the roof tonight, and I can't help but think it would be better if I had started the day with a good run.

Too bad it's storming right now or I'd head out.  I think.  Oh, have I said on here I've registered for a half marathon in October.  So now I'm running about 4 times a week, getting ready to really train starting in August.

Good news?  I enjoyed a women's progressive dinner last night with new friends.

Also we've had lots of interest in our house that's back on the market.  One agent (not ours) even said it's a LOT of house for the money.  Yep; it's definitely priced to sell.

The kids are kickin' it in swim team.  Patrick and Sarah Frances are the fastest on the team in their primary strokes in their age groups.  I'm a proud mama.  We have an assistant coach who is an Alabama fan, and my kids have a running "competition" with him.  It began when Patrick wore an Auburn shirt after practice.  The next day Thomas wore his Alabama one.  The next day all four of my kids paraded around in their AU ones.  His mother (whose mother (Thomas's grandmother)--get this--worships at my parents' church in itty-bitty Thomasville, AL, and who is herself an Auburn fan) said to be sure to tell her when we plan that again so she can get a pic of him with "his swimming kids" all in their Auburn gear and put it on FB for all his UA friends to see.  The NEXT day Thomas gave them each a bag of orange and blue jelly beans, hand picked from the bin at the grocery store.  A sweet peace offering, I think.  We love our team and our coaches!

And I have a new friend at swim team just for me.  Well, for all of us.  She's a pediatric PT with 4 kids whose husband is an elder at their church who home schools and works part time.  Our kids all get along really well, and it's a mutual affection all-around.  I'm thankful to have a new, good friend to see every day this summer.

Oh, and a touch of sad news.  Mary Martha is gone.  She moved out this weekend, and now I'm selfishly sad.  She's in a great spot, and I'm very excited for her.  But I miss her terribly already.  I miss her face and voice and steps coming down the hall.  And her listening ear and her stories.  And her earrings and shoes and electric kettle too, if I'm honest.  It was a WONDERFUL 2 years having her here with us.  Thursday morning (our standing coffee date for 3yr10mo) can't get here soon enough.

Anyway--I'm remembering when I was 8 months pregnant I would s.w.e.a.r. I could run a marathon if only I could.  It feels that way now.  If only it weren't storming.  At least I want to go run.  Next time I'll go in the morning.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Coming To Terms

Clearly I should just get settled in the unsettledness of life.  It seems we Browns are not granted much settledness apart from simply resting in the unknown and the always-coming changes.

I struggle with cynicism, but this is not that.  This is a fight for rest--even if it's not a deep rooted settling in.  For joy--which looks like smiling at my kids instead of barking in my fears and frustration that really have nothing to do with the frustrations they're actually causing me in the moment.  For not waiting for a job to do purposeful ministry--investing in relationships even if we're here only a while longer.

It changes lots of things.  Letting go of what everyone else calls "normal" and accepting that this right now is what God has called us to right now.  That only we have to (completely?) understand it.  Dropping my defenses that look like fists ready to pop whoever (unintentionally?) makes me feel...needy. wrong. weak. incompetent. unproductive.

It's looking ONLY to the Lord to provide for all of our different kinds of needs, however he desires to bring them to us.  It's finding gratitude for all he has provided and saying that it's enough.

It's letting go of rigid planning.  It's living with open hands and doors and schedules.  It's making the most of what's available when it's available.  It's not living with blinders on (where IS that light at the end of this tunnel?), but leaning into relationships.

Epiphany--I don't really want to stay the same anyway.  I'm working out my salvation, asking God daily to change me to be more like his perfect son, Jesus.  How can anything settle in too far if I'm going to keep changing anyway, Lord willing for the better?  Especially because he uses my people and circumstances to bring me to repentance and humble reliance on him!

How's that for verbal processing "on paper?"  Suh-weet!  Rebecca, rejoice in the ever-changing, plan-less, budget-less life we've been called to right now!  It's good to see changes!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Best Dinner Ever

Made the "best dinner ever" tonight.  Everyone asked for seconds.  The only things I adapted were that I used the frozen spinach and thin spaghetti I had on hand instead of fresh spinach and twirly pasta.

You're welcome, Amy. ;)


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Graduation Pics

The Procession (cape over his arm).

Walking back to his seat after receiving his diploma.

We graduated!!

Our parents and niece came to help us celebrate!

I LOVE Summer!

I mean I really, really love summer.  I suppose it has something to do this year with it being my second year that my job has stopped when school let out, so I've got it like I like it.  I'm home.  The kids are home.  We're enjoying all being together.  The girls are best friends again, using their imaginations together to come up with games to play.  They're both including the younger two who can almost entirely keep up with them.  Even the housework has been delightful to do--I am home to do it! (and it's been so long that there are remarkable results when a job is finished, lol.)

All four of the kids are ravenous readers right now too (someone is reading to Lillian).  And still into learning, which is so fun.  We're all learning US Geography from songs.  They discovered Khan Academy recently, and Catherine just might understand Algebra by the end of the summer if she keeps at it.  Patrick LOVES getting a star in the back of the reader that he completes.  I've found Sarah Frances in her bed reading when I expected her to be on a screen.  (Delights my heart!)  And Lillian is relearning a letter each day using a curriculum I had for homeschooling the older girls.  She woke me up early this morning asking if it's time for the letter of the day. :)  There have been nights where the TV is not turned on at all because we're all in the same room reading after dinner.  Dreamy.

Summer is also open season for hospitality around here.  The front door seems to revolve in the summer, and it suits us all.  We don't get that as much during the school year.  It feels right and good.  Normal.  Makes everyone happy.  And during the day we're free to go do fun things together, like drive down to City Garden for the morning.  Just because we can.

Happiness.  Contentment.  Fun.  That's what this first week of summer has brought.  That's enjoying the here and now, and I'm thankful for eyes to see and a heart that is resting in the now.