Fall 2013-dark leaves

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Holding My Breath

This is the way it was supposed to be this fall.  Busy but normal.  Rushed but calm.  Eating meals together at the table.  Resting most evenings.

For the last 3 years, I've had terrible (and I mean terrible) Octobers.  Even to the point that this past year my friend, Mary Martha, and I prayed against the entire month of October.  We made it to the first week and praised God that things seemed to still be smooth sailing.

Then LIFE happened and it got crazy.  Bad crazy.

But we're back to smooth again, PTL.  It's so. very. nice.  Thing is, I'm skiddish.  I'm jumpy, wondering when the ball will drop?  When the insanity will return?  How long till something awful happens to me or my family?

I know this is not the right way to view good things.  God is good all the time.  And just because things are hard doesn't mean He's not still oh so good.  I'm not saying that.  I guess I'm wishing I could REST entirely in the good times and be entirely grateful for them vs. allowing worry sneak in and push rest to the side even a little bit.  I mean, really...can I not NOT worry?  Do I have to create things to worry about when it's good?

Deep exhale.  Quit holding my breath.  Rest.  Relax the shoulders.  Enjoy the good.  Silly girl.

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