So I cried yesterday for basically two hours straight. Probably more, to be honest. At first I was hanging with a girl friend who I don't know especially well, but we've been meeting for several months to talk mostly about her. But the Lord saw fit to let me share some of my heart yesterday, and the ball just kept rolling. Lo and behold, she feels things deeply and had much encouragement for me.
THEN I went straight to a marriage counseling appointment where the tears continued to flow as I shared more about what I was experiencing and thinking. And feeling. And I fought to stay in the moment vs. moving past it on to whatever logically comes next. Brian and I have been seeing the same guy together for over a year and a half, so we were able to really dig in and put some big puzzle pieces together. It was awesome.
My girlfriend encouraged me to pay attention to my energy level after experiencing all the emotions, and I'll have to say, while I was exhausted after the tears stopped rolling, I am much "better" today than usual. Well, that may have to do with a deeply felt prayer I shared with another girlfriend this morning. We prayed for joy and peace and rest. But regardless... It seems that feeling all these feelings and asking God for help in them is a good thing. No duh, huh?
But I thought I'd share a little more about how this process is going. It will be good to look back on when I don't have the emotional age of a 4yo.